Diagnosis= SDD (Shopping Deficit Disorder)

I have decided that I am the WORST female shopper on the planet!!  I mean who spends 2 hours in a store, scrutinizing every item in the store, only placing a few items into the cart, then just before it's time to check out changing your mind and putting everything back onto the shelves, then walking out empty handed???  That would be me!!!  I'm so consumed with making sure I get just the perfect gift at just the perfect price that it literally paralyzes me.  So, after a grand total of 3.5 hours of shopping today I finally picked "just the right gift" which turned out to be an art table (Step 2 All Around Art Tower) for the kids and loaded it up in the pouring RAIN by myself.  Kolby had asked for an easel for Christmas, but with 3 kids I worried the 2-person easel would just cause never ending battles over who gets to color.  So I decided to get an art table instead so all 3 kids could color at the same time! Problem solved!  After I got home, I showed a picture of it to Kolby online and asked him if he *might* want that art table instead and his response was, "No, I hate that one!" Ugh!  Christmas spirit = Squelched.

Is it really too much to ask????

Today when we were leaving from getting professional Christmas pictures taken one person was stomping away and crying....and it wasn't any of my kids!  Is it really so difficult to look at the camera and smile all at the same time?  It's not like I'm asking my kids to find a cure for cancer or anything!  So after 8-10 clicks of the professional's camera Mommy gave up.  Several photos had tongues exposed, several had eyes in different directions, and several had smileless blank stares.  I pleaded with my kids to no avail to cooperate for just one picture.  I stomped away feeling frustrated and couldn't stop the tears from flowing.  Have you ever had those moments where you know it's ridiculous to cry, but you couldn't stop crying anyway?  Yeah, that was me today.

Moms sacrifice so much for their children.  I do EVERYTHING for my kids.  I don't ask for much in return...just two small things.  1) Sleep in on Saturdays and 2) Look at the camera and smile!  Is it really too much to ask????  (by the way, neither of those things ever happen). 

I'm sure someone is bound to tell me that one day I will look back on these days and miss them.  And, I'm sure they are right.  But for now, I look forward to the day I can sleep in on Saturdays and I can't wait to hear my kids complain that my grandchildren refuse to cooperate for photographs.  I will probably just stick my tongue out at them and say...."Karma, baby!"  :-P

Recovering from a long weekend at Nana's house....

It's like a baby hangover. Only rather than a headache, it comes in the form of a whine.  What is it with one long weekend at the grandparent's house that turns my kids into little demons?  It was a fun birthday weekend for Kaden, but let me tell you the aftermath has been horrendous!  My sweet little angel has cried and screamed those ear piercing screams over the tiniest issues today.  Geez Kolby, just give her whatever she wants so she'll stop screaming!!! Yes, I went that far.

Have you ever wondered what the "stuffing" of a diaper consists of?  Well, I found out a long time ago when I accidentally washed one in the washing machine.  My kids however, had no idea.....until last night.  Did I ever mention how difficult it is to get my kids to go to sleep?  In the midst of their playing around upstairs somehow Kensley's diaper was ripped off and slung around while little clear jelly-like beads came raining down all over the place!  That's another $.50 someone owes me in manual labor....

A friend of mine on a "mommy forum" just posted this for me in one of her blogs. :)  Thanks Abby!  I thoroughly enjoy writing about the reality of having kids.  I'm hoping it will be like a breath of fresh air and an opportunity for everyone to realize that their crazy life is just as NORMAL as the next person's life!  This blog award is one that you "pay it forward" to keep it going!  I'd like to give it to my friend Abbey!  She is an awesome mom, wife, and friend!

What is it with the blue ink???? Today I come downstairs from getting ready for the day and Kensley is sitting on the couch sucking on a blue marker.  AAAHHHH!  Luckily is wiped off well with a baby wipe, but geez, I can't imagine ink from a marker would taste that great.

Today I spent most of the morning baking cupcakes and a cake for Kaden's birthday this weekend.  I was so busy in the kitchen that I neglected the other housework.  You can only imagine the tornado that went through the living room.  At one point Kensley went outside to play.  I usually open the kitchen window when she does that so I can see and hear her.  She climbed up into her swing, buckled herself in, and proceeded to say "Mommy!" about 500 times.  Each and every time I told her I was cooking and couldn't leave the kitchen to come outside and push her on the swing.  She was content to sit there for about 20 minutes yelling "Mommy!" every other breath.  I finally shut the window.  (I want to add that I did finally push her once I was done in the kitchen).

I have decided that naptime in the car is the best thing in the world.  I had about 10 minutes to spare today before I had to pick Kaden up from school.  Kolby and Kensley fell asleep in the car on the way.  I whipped the van into a church parking lot, locked the doors, laid my head back and took a 10 minute nap.  I have decided that I might leave 10 minutes early every day! :)

Does anyone know how much Goodnite pull-ups cost individually?  My kids are about to find out!  They cost $0.69 per pull-up.  Kaden and Kolby still both need to wear one every single night.  That's $1.38 per night, for 365 nights a year.  That's a grand total of $503.70 a year to buy Goodnites.  Gulp! Yeah, that's what I did too.  So, you can imagine my frustration at bedtime when Kaden and Kolby got into a ripping fight with their pull-ups and I walk into their bedroom to find their pull-ups torn apart and ruined!!  Yeah,  I plan to get my $1.38 back in manual labor!!!!

I still have all my hair today.  That's a plus.  Today started with a very cranky 4 year old who didn't want to get up to go to preschool, didn't want to brush his teeth, and didn't want to get dressed.  This is the same 4 year old who didn't want the Poptart from the BACK of the foil package, he wanted the Poptart from the FRONT of the foil package!  When it was time to leave I couldn't shove him out the door fast enough!!! Grrrr....

I took a shower today.  Did I mention that one of the heating elements is out on my water heater. Yeah, I've never taken a shower so fast!  After getting ready for the day, I came downstairs to find Kensley with a very blue mouth.  Did she find a sucker? Nope.  She had found one of Kaden's stamps and decided to suck the ink out.  Maybe I should consider putting the number for poison control on speed dial.  Thankfully it was harmless and a baby wipe got most of the blue off. Almost.

So today was a big day for Kolby.  His last visit to the orthopaedic doctor who would hopefully tell me that his collarbone was all healed up.  I picked him up early from school since I've been too nervous to let him stay long enough for recess on the playground (actually I'm not as nervous as the teacher, I think).  Within 2 minutes of picking him up he was demanding (in a very sassy voice) that I needed to buy him a toy. "Listen here little man, I've got news for you.  You will not demand things of me.  You are not getting a toy.  I was hoping you and I could enjoy some one-on-one time today. Don't ruin it by disrespecting me or disobeying me. Let's start over right now!"  He was ANGEL from that moment on.

We had about 2 hours to kill before heading to the doctors office.  Kolby fell asleep in the car.  I pulled into the parking lot of a park, locked the doors, and leaned my seat back to catch a little nap myself.  There were a few moms and their kids playing. I felt pretty safe to take a little cat nap.  About 15 minutes later I woke up and was quietly playing on my phone and letting Kolby sleep a little longer.  There is no way the mom at the park COULDN'T see me.  What does she do??  She pushes the lock button about 3 times to "make sure" her van was locked causing her horn to beep 3 times! Kolby's eyes shot open.  Are you kidding me?!  I'm glad the daggers I shot at her weren't real.

So Kolby was given the "all clear" at the doctor. Yay!  Then the receptionist told me our balance. What?! They must be out of their minds!!! A) I saw the doctor less than 5 minutes in the 3 visits combined. B) He didn't do a single thing but tell me his collarbone was indeed broken (I knew that) and that Kolby needed to stay off the monkey bars (duh).  So what exactly do we owe hundreds of dollars for????? Needless to say I did not come home in a good mood.

Frozen pizza for dinner.  No bath (barely any hot water anyway). Bedtime at 7:30.  I think I might be winning Mother of the Year award this year.

Calm Before the Storm

Dry sheets in the morning usually set the tone of my attitude for the day. There's just something about having to change sheets on bunk beds every. single. day. that brings a person down. Don't believe me? Try it! So, yeah, the morning was pretty uneventful.  I got everyone dressed and ready to leave the house to go to a Bible study with some friends.  Yay, I got to take another shower today! :)  Then in a mad dash to get out the door I realized that my youngest had managed to get her shoes off and was working on her shirt.  Why is it that when you are ready to walk out the door that everything falls apart? 

So, I managed to find her shoes and we successfully made it out the door.  Did I mention how long it takes to get children to actually get into the car, then climb into their carseats, then buckle them up?  Before you have children no one warns you of these kinds of things!! Add an extra 10 minutes onto every trip you take just to get them loaded and unloaded in  and out of the car.   All you childless people out there, you can thank me later for that little tidbit of information.

So, the rest of the day was actually pretty uneventful. Unless you count the moment of sheer panic when one my friend's little boys disappeared right before our eyes at McDonald's.  I was about to run out to the parking lot to find him because he was nowhere to be found in the restuarant, until one of the workers came walking out of the kitchen with him.  Seriously that kid was fast!!! We blinked our eyes and he was already back there probably trying to bum a french fry from one of the cooks.

Did I say the rest of the day was pretty uneventful? Scratch that.  Kensley has learned to change her own diapers. I figured this out when she brought me her removed messy diaper and said, "Mommy, I change my diaper. I stink!"   Yeah, I know it's time to potty train and we're working on it, but when you have carpet throughout your house somehow potty training looks a lot less enticing.  There's just something about pee-stained carpet that turns me off to the whole potty training thing.

Amazingly, a burned out heating element in your hot water heater changes the dynamic of bath time.  Kids who would spend hours soaking in hot water are more easily removed when the water is hardly even lukewarm.  Unfortunately, the "warm bath makes baby sleepy" adage isn't true when the water is barely warm because my kids are still wide awake after an hour of playing in their beds. 

Did I just hear a body fall from the top bunk? No, there's no crying so I guess not.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day. Another dose of reality.

Come on people! Let's be real!

Everybody's seen them.  Those flowery, swanky, vainglorious blogs about how perfect their life is, how wonderful their children are, and how amazing their day has been.  I've got two words for that. Puh-lease.  I have been a stay-at-home mom for almost 5 years.  From the beginning, I quickly learned that being a stay-at-home mom was not all soap operas and playdates.  I feel trapped in the interminable mountain of laundry, in the infinite overflow of dirty dishes, by the everlasting song of the purple dinosaur, and by the incessant whine of a tired and cranky child.  While there are moments that make me sigh with complete adoration for my children, those moments are few and far between. So, spare me the grandiose details of your so-called incredible life and let's get a good dose of reality.  Life is hard. And stressful.  We all know it.  Some of us are unwilling to admit it.  But, this is one tired mom who is ready to spill the beans about just how mediocre and mundane life with kids can be! 


I'm sure I have many, many examples from the past, but I have to start somewhere. So, let's start with today.....

I woke up today and my child's sheets were soaked. Again.  I just washed them yesterday.  And let me just interject here:  Bunkbeds are NOT easy to make. UGH!  So, off they come and into the washer. Again.  Then it was time for my daily argument about what my middle son was going to wear. I finally let him pick his own outfit and he comes out with a shirt I had slated for the Goodwill and a pair of shorts that are on the verge of being too little.  

I did manage to get a shower today.  I know a lot of moms can rejoice with me about that!  However, while I was getting ready for the day, one of my children managed to unload an entire box of baby wipes and spread them all out onto the living room floor.  I cleaned them all up and then ran the vacuum.  Within an hour a handful of goldfish crackers was dropped and smashed into the carpet of the same living room floor while I was in the kitchen cutting up chicken for tonight's dinner. 

Not long after that, my child's diaper leaked and before I realized it there was a big wet spot on the couch. Yay. :( I was, however, excited to serve lunch!  I had bought a box of the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese with the Toy Story 3 theme.  I thought for sure my kids would flip over it! Got their plates (and mine) all ready and brought them to the table.  Took the first bite.  Yuck!  Don't waste your money.  My kids wouldn't even eat it.  So, yeah, my exciting lunch choice was a bust. 

Nap time.  What's that?  My kids have started to phase out of naps.  So, there goes my hour and a half of peace during the day.  Instead, I got to listen to my kids complain about the apparent technical difficulties PBS Kids was having today as their favorite show was constantly interrupted by intermittent pauses and  a loud screeching sound.  Before I knew it, it was time to pick up my oldest son from school.  Guess who fell asleep in the car on the way there.  Why can't that happen at home? Ugh. 

The kids were W.I.L.D. while I finished preparing dinner.  Loud and wild, which didn't help my headache.  When I say wild, I mean somehow a full basket of folded laundry managed to get rolled down the stairs by one of the kids while the others jumped on the unfurled laundry like a giant pile of leaves. 

Speaking of dinner... my efforts were in vain (as usual) as none of my children touched it. Therefore, cleaning the kitchen after dinner feels very anti-climatic.  Husband gets home at 6:30pm.  My 12 hour shift is over! Almost.  Bedtime duty *technically* falls on him. But, somehow I usually end up helping to get teeth brushed or pajamas on.  And of course my kids have to stall by asking for "one more kiss" before settling down (which I secretly enjoy). 

Settling down is a near impossibilty for my kids. Hence, the bloody lip my oldest son came downstairs bearing after his brother kicked him in the mouth.  I think they are all finally asleep.  A little down time for me before bed.  I wonder what tomorrow has in store for me?